He should probably upgrade

So, funny story.
Last Sunday I was working (quelle surprise) in the function room after the bar had closed. So far, so usual.
It's four o'clock or thereabouts and I'm pretty tired. So tired, in fact, that I'm hyper.
A guy comes up to me and asks for a drink. I tell him the bar is closed.
"Any chance of some water then," he asks.
"There's every chance of some water," I grin with a smile that's probably far too big for that hour of the morning. "Do you just want water or would you want to be a bit more adventurous and make it fruity?"
"Just water will be fine," he replies, smiling back. See if you can guess where this is going yet.
So I give him the water and he says something to the effect of "You're a pretty cool guy". I don't deny this because I've been brought up to support the truth. Then he asks "Where do you usually go out?" to which I reply "Well I don't get to go out much." He looks at me quizzically. I explain "Because I work here and -"
"How long have you been gay?"
"Well, um, zero. I mean, I'm not."
"I didn't mean to offend you it's just -"
"I'm not offended. I'm just not."
At this point Amy, who'd been behind the bar with me, washing glasses said "Did he just say -?"
"He did."
Amy starts laughing. She doesn't stop. At all. I start to worry if she'll run out of air. I'm guessing that even now, a whole six days later, she's still smiling.
So the guy leaves with his water, highly embarrassed. Amy's laughing and telling every staff member she can find. And I'm laughing too, trying to figure out how he thought this. I eventually resort to that one episode of Friends. You know the one.

Damn, I have no idea how to end this.
Um...
The end.
Yeah, that works.
Classic. :)

Back, with thanks to a dark ritual.

Lets see what the blog's like.
Oh.
Oh, my.
Is that blood?
And some sort of forest? At least I hope those are trees. And the spiders seem to have formed their own society.
Well, I suppose I'll have to live with it.

So yeah, there's a year or so missing here. Stuff happened. I'll move on and we'll all learn a valuable lesson. That being spiders really like it when you pat their head.

Trek Fest: Day 1

Let me take a minute to blow the cobwebs off the blog.
*Pufffff*
Done.

So lately I've partaken in a Star Trek movie marathon. Well less a marathon and more a race similar to the Tour De France (multiple stages over several days). Allow me to summarise my experience.

Stage 1 - Saturday 21st March : Star Trek - The Motion Picture

Participants: Al, Ciaran, Aoife and Little Dave (for 5 minutes)

Summary:
Nothing happens.

Seems the producers saw Star Wars and 2001 and noted a common link, slow motion shots of spaceships. The alleged plot is that a mysterious cloud (called V'Ger) is heading for Earth to meet its creator, which it believes is an AI. Meanwhile the crew of the Enterprise reunite and are sent to intercept the cloud and save Earth in their shiny new spaceship and horrible new uniforms. Turns out the cloud contains a ship which was made from the Voyager 6 probe that was given intelligence after landing on a planet of intelligent machines.
New crew member Will Decker convinces V'ger not to destroy Earth and that humans created it. Then they merge together in a shiny light and go... somewhere.
The End.

Thoughts:

• We finally get the Kirk/Spock slash fics.

• It's not a good movie if you spend the whole time talking about other movies.

• When Ciaran left the room (about an hour and a half into the movie) plot occurred. I believe Ciaran was intimidating the plot so it hid until he left.

• Dave decided immediately that he hated the movie. He was not proven wrong.

• Owen was meant to watch with us but mysteriously decided to cook lasagna instead. I smell shenanigans. Shenanigans and lasagna.

Return to College

What to say?
I'm in fourth year. That's something.
Having to repeat 3rd year I never thought I'd get to this point. And It's mine to screw up.
Hopefully not.

Memories of Cyprus

I went on holidays in Cyprus with Dom and Chris.
These are my recollections.

Heat.
Drunken Uno.
Lots of Black Russians.
Dom's inability to say "No".
Chris's inability to stop giggling.
My inability to stop the heat.
Dune buggy!
Water parks need to be closer to Aiya Napa.
So many novelty bars.
So little local food.
Everyone speaks English.
A flight delayed for two days.
Staying in the Nicosia Hilton.
Finally getting home.

Mass

I was early for mass today.
I was there half an hour early and got to experience a semi-forgotten tradition , the rosary.
For those unaware or who have forgotten, the rosary is performed like this:
Firstly the person leading the rosary says the first half of the Hail Mary in their best dalek voice. Next all other people in the room say the second half of the Hail Mary as quickly, quietly and incoherently as possible.
This is repeated 50 times, interspersed with an Our Father and a nice little prayer asking Jesus to save us all from Hell every 10 Hail Marys.
After all this monotony is one Hail Holy Queen, also spoken like a dalek or mumbled depending on who you are.

I don't think I'll be early for mass for a while.

Right, I'd better go study.

Return from another ilness

I've been sick again. Dammit.

However that didn't kill me so I must be stronger.
If I get any stronger it might kill me.