He should probably upgrade

So, funny story.
Last Sunday I was working (quelle surprise) in the function room after the bar had closed. So far, so usual.
It's four o'clock or thereabouts and I'm pretty tired. So tired, in fact, that I'm hyper.
A guy comes up to me and asks for a drink. I tell him the bar is closed.
"Any chance of some water then," he asks.
"There's every chance of some water," I grin with a smile that's probably far too big for that hour of the morning. "Do you just want water or would you want to be a bit more adventurous and make it fruity?"
"Just water will be fine," he replies, smiling back. See if you can guess where this is going yet.
So I give him the water and he says something to the effect of "You're a pretty cool guy". I don't deny this because I've been brought up to support the truth. Then he asks "Where do you usually go out?" to which I reply "Well I don't get to go out much." He looks at me quizzically. I explain "Because I work here and -"
"How long have you been gay?"
"Well, um, zero. I mean, I'm not."
"I didn't mean to offend you it's just -"
"I'm not offended. I'm just not."
At this point Amy, who'd been behind the bar with me, washing glasses said "Did he just say -?"
"He did."
Amy starts laughing. She doesn't stop. At all. I start to worry if she'll run out of air. I'm guessing that even now, a whole six days later, she's still smiling.
So the guy leaves with his water, highly embarrassed. Amy's laughing and telling every staff member she can find. And I'm laughing too, trying to figure out how he thought this. I eventually resort to that one episode of Friends. You know the one.

Damn, I have no idea how to end this.
Um...
The end.
Yeah, that works.
Classic. :)

Back, with thanks to a dark ritual.

Lets see what the blog's like.
Oh.
Oh, my.
Is that blood?
And some sort of forest? At least I hope those are trees. And the spiders seem to have formed their own society.
Well, I suppose I'll have to live with it.

So yeah, there's a year or so missing here. Stuff happened. I'll move on and we'll all learn a valuable lesson. That being spiders really like it when you pat their head.